Take a moment, read that again. One more time, absorb each word. Wait, Watch, Listen…

I’ve been working to do this more and more lately. It is always something that has been a part of me, but as life has gotten busier, I find myself wanting to do it more and more.

Wait:

Having the luxury to slow down is a rare thing. Some see it as a luxury, others a curse. When I was in the middle of our musical season this year, I remember going to bed exhausted one night. Being the person that I am, I often make up stories in my head to help myself fall asleep. It is something I’ve been doing since I was a kid – and somehow I didn’t know I was a writer at heart! But this particular night all I wanted to imagine was slowing down. I pictured myself slowly getting out of bed in the morning, sitting on the edge of the bed for a moment or two before getting up to get dressed. Slowly opening each drawer I needed, walking to the nightstand for my glasses. Taking each step of the stairs one by one, pausing before making breakfast and so on. In my busiest time, all I wanted to do was have a day where I could move slowly. It got to the point in those months that each minute of my day had to be filled with a task or accomplishment or I would not get everything done. Now, I greatly enjoyed that process, but I also enjoyed when it was over and I could slow down and wait.

Watch:

How often do you take time to watch the world around you? Not the digital world, but the physical world. There is a time when all my brain wants is to be numbed by a stream of 2 minute reels, but when I sit in my office or at my kitchen table and watch the traffic go by, or watch the people shopping on a Saturday morning, I gain something. I enjoy taking in the world around me, soaking up interactions I can’t hear, imagining what is going on in people’s lives, making up stories about each person. Drawing in information and just holding it. I don’t always use what I see, or I don’t consciously think I do, but I begin to learn nuance. The way that person is rushing, are they late? Or do they just enjoy walking at a faster pace? That person messing with my dumpster tote, is he being a jerk? Or is he just confused?

Listen:

I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase: most people listen to respond, not to truly listen. I know I do, more often that I would like to. Or listen to connect it back to my own life. This past year we had an inservice day and although it was very long and much of it has escaped my brain – my fellow educators, you know – there was one activity that really stuck with me. We found a partner and for five minutes Partner A was to share something that was difficult in our past week. Partner B was not allowed to say anything in those five minutes. When the time was up Partner B was instructed to summarize what Partner A had shared. No advice was to be given, no personal stories, just a summary. Sounds simple, right? It was earth shattering! I do not know the last time I talked for five minutes straight without a single interruption – teaching included. I felt so heard and just really shared and unloaded my difficult week. With a minute or two to spare, I started to feel like I should stop talking, someone else needed a turn. But I was all you for five minutes. When it was my turn to listen, I did not find it difficult to listen, but I did find it difficult not to actively listen. To add a “yeah” or an exclamation at something shocking. I did however nod and follow along. When it was my turn to respond, it felt good to summarize, I did also sympathize because my partner had dealt with some nasty behaviors over the week and I really felt for them.

Wait, Watch, Listen…

So what is all of this to say? I have found one of my favorite operating modes when I’m in any situation but especially a new one is to wait, watch, and listen. Wait to jump in or wait to find an approach and watch what others around me are doing. Listen to their stories, listen to their successes and failures and then only then is it time to act. How can I take what others have learned and use it in my own practice. This applies to my teaching, my writing, even my living. Gathering information before making a move makes me feel comfortable. Is it always possible? No, definitely not. And there are times when you have to jump in and learn along the way. But I challenge you to try it sometime.

Wait, Watch, Listen…